these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
