I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
