Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
