Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
