you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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