the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
