What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this beer tastes like vomit already
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize