Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
