Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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