me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
