It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
