so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
