I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
