just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
