She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
