Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You were trust falling into bushes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
