How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You smell like stripper and shame
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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