dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
