the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Houston, we have a squirter
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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