i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
