I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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