did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
