I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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