David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
