i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
