She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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