Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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