If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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