sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
