This girl is more easily done than said...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
