Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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