I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
