Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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