He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
