Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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