Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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