We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize