Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
