Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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