is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
