i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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