Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm at about main and main street
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
