True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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