I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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