I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
