Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals

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(660): View more from Missouri

Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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(519): View more from Ontario

It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.

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(937): View more from Ohio

If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.

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(310): View more from California

I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

dude. I can hear the air.

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