i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
