Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fuck appropriateness.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
