if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
