you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
