Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
