On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
