hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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