his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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