my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
