i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
