This is not my ceiling
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
