Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
