Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
