So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
