My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize