Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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