My first STD was from a foam party
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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