Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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