i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
