i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize