I feel like abortions should bother me more
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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