I have demons in me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
