Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We need to get me chipped asap