Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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  (978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds
  Replies (60) Good night (2816) Bad night (1090)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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  (301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man. http://tfl.nu/s3bb
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (4322)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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  (505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9
  Replies (12) Good night (4284) Bad night (601)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod

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  (256): I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod http://tfl.nu/7c05
  Replies (35) Good night (1217) Bad night (3136)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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  (256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e
  Replies (7) Good night (892) Bad night (2952)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2922) Bad night (860)
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  (858): View more from California

  just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.

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  (858): just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come. http://tfl.nu/jbn7
  Replies (17) Good night (1144) Bad night (3336)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.

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  (256): Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green. http://tfl.nu/6tsm
  Replies (25) Good night (6706) Bad night (971)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.

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  (608): Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive. http://tfl.nu/vnho
  Replies (4) Good night (3110) Bad night (853)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now

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  (214): We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now http://tfl.nu/hu2y
  Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (947)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

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  (314): Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off http://tfl.nu/sr25
  Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (983)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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  (979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox
  Replies (14) Good night (2307) Bad night (726)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness

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  (631): She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat (1-631): I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness http://tfl.nu/blnl
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (563)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."

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  (727): My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ." http://tfl.nu/nnzb
  Replies (4) Good night (2551) Bad night (526)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

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  (727): Why were you not born a dude? (1-727): Because god wanted to level the playing field http://tfl.nu/5cfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (312)

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