Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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(703): View more from Virginia

She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

(540): View more from Virginia

Ew, and?!

(703): View more from Virginia

Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.

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(765): View more from Indiana

The adults are the big ones right?

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