you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
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All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.