I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
These tits shall not be calmed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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