Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol

  (661): View more from California

  HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator

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  (509): Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol (661): HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator http://tfl.nu/ppgz
  Replies (6) Good night (1137) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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  (562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore http://tfl.nu/a739
  Replies (26) Good night (694) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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  (508): I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man. http://tfl.nu/yrla
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (1958)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

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  (307): burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef http://tfl.nu/mi4v
  Replies (33) Good night (6831) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass

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  (609): Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass http://tfl.nu/qqts
  Replies (19) Good night (5151) Bad night (1677)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy

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  (307): We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy http://tfl.nu/folr
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (2641)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba
  Replies (5) Good night (2346) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.

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  (541): Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock. http://tfl.nu/5hls
  Replies (13) Good night (1521) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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  (757): and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion. http://tfl.nu/2944
  Replies (6) Good night (1226) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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  (209): Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER. http://tfl.nu/edtf
  Replies (11) Good night (855) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night

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  (501): Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night http://tfl.nu/fi5n
  Replies (6) Good night (242) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.

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  (214): I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help. http://tfl.nu/nnry
  Replies (11) Good night (1062) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

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  (816): took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning http://tfl.nu/ad92
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

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  (208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot
  Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.

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  (804): The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out. http://tfl.nu/4grr
  Replies (5) Good night (344) Bad night (252)

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