You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF