Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The adults are the big ones right?