he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We are two peas in an std pod
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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