her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
