Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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